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An encounter with the Stunts Oracle Priests

After a private message to Stunts Oracle Priests, Stunts reporter Krys Toff managed to have an interview with this mysterious “Priest”. The meeting took place in a dark abandoned factory, at midnight.

I stood there alone, waiting… suddenly, four people appeared in the dark. One had a black coat, two others wore a dark grey coat, and the last one had a light grey coat.

Their faces were invisible, hidden by the dark of the place. Overtaking my fear, I started to talk…

Krys Toff: Hello, which one of you is the Stunts Oracle Priest?

The man with black coat: We are all Priests.

The man with light grey coat: Except me, I am an apprentice.

The man with black coat: Shut up apprentice!

KT: We?

The man with black coat: Yes, we are all Priests of the Stunts God.

KT: The Oracle told me there is more than one Stunts God.

The man with black coat: That is a lie. There is only one Stunts God. Master of Stunts racing.

KT: And this God is Alan Rotoi, the Oracle?

The man with black coat: No, not anymore. Your interview with him proved it.

KT: You read my interview, great. Did you like it?

The man with black coat: No.

KT: Well, tell me then what you thought of what the Oracle said.

The man with black coat: I told you he is the Oracle no more!!! This guy confirmed that the God doesn’t possess him anymore. His current results prove it too.

KT: Possessed?

The man with black coat: Yes. You didn’t interview The Oracle, but only a human called Alan Rotoi, who had been for a while the host of the Stunts God, The Oracle.

KT: So, the Stunts God came back to Valhalla, and you suppose that this is why Alan Rotoi isn’t winning any races now?

The man with light grey coat: He understands quickly! It took me 4 weeks to understand that…

The man with black coat: Will you shut up Bern…, mmm, I mean, will you shut up apprentice!?

The man with black coat seems VERY angry with the one with light grey coat. He asks the other two, those with dark grey coats, to take him away.

The man with black coat: Otto, Joe, bring this stupid apprentice out of here! He almost made me say his name.

The two silent guys in dark grey coat took the one with light grey coat and brought him away. I started to fear these crazy guys. Then, the man with black coat turned back to me and explained his view:

The man with black coat: No, the Stunts God likes to race too much to stay in Valhalla. He took another host when He left the body of Alan Rotoi.

KT: And who was the new host?

The man with black coat: Alain Pere.

KT: Alain? He is the new Oracle? The host of the Stunts God?

The man with black coat: No, he was. And that’s why he won some races. But his mind was too strange for the God. Too crazy, too blasphemy also, with his manga. No respect for the God.

KT: So, who is the new host now, the new Oracle?

The man with black coat: We believe Tsino is. Yes, He his The new host, The new Oracle. Our God.

KT: Tsino, okay… And who will be next?

The man with black coat: I hope it will be me.

KT: You? Who are you to think that?

I laughed. But stopped immediately when I saw his eyes in the dark. They were changing to red eyes, devil eyes.

The man with black coat (with angry voice): I deserve to be host of the Stunts God. All racers feared me when they started to race, when they were apprentices. Now, everyone is laughing at me, and I HATE that. Can you understand? I HATE THAT!!! No one has the right to laugh at Skid, NO ONE!!!

KT: Calm down, man. Don’t be so angry. This is just a game after all.

The man with black coat (with crazy voice): Just a game? Just “A” game? JUST A GAME??? Poor little guy, this game is MY life. This is THE GAME. The one and only.

KT: Okay, okay. Calm down Mister Skid.

The man with black coat (shouting now): I am not Skid anymore, I am Master Priest. Leader of Stunts Oracle Priests!

I started to fear him A LOT. I thought I had to finish the interview quickly or else he would kill me!

KT: So, if I resume your thoughts, there is only one Stunts God, taking possession of racers at his will. Right?

The man with black coat: Right. Mark Nailwood, CAP, Royforever were hosts for example. Alan Rotoi, Alain Pere and now Tsino are the last three hosts.

KT: Well, thanks for this interview. Be sure I’ll let everyone know your opinion. Goodbye.

I started to run away.

The man with black coat (shouting again): STOP! I’m not done talking to you!

I stopped immediately, and turned back toward him in fear.

KT: Ooops, sorry. What else do you want to say, Mister Master Priest?

The man with black coat: Did you see two girls called Helen Wheels and Cherry Chassis?

KT: No, not recently. Sorry.

The man with black coat: If you see them, tell them they are welcome to join the Stunts Oracle Priests. Especially Helen. That girl is cute.

KT: Okay, I will. I promise you I will.

Then I left him alone in this dark factory, and flee as fast as I could. This guy is crazy, really. I thought he could kill me just because I said Stunts is “just a game”.

I think that we haven’t heard the last of these “Priests”. Believe me.

Submitted by Krys Toff on 2003-12-14.