Interview with the Stunts Oracle

As you may know, a group called “Stunts Oracle Priests” started to consider The Oracle as a God. As the only Stunts God!

To let you know the real truth about this, Stunts reporter Krys Toff enters in the Stunts Temple in order to make an interview of the Stunts Oracle...

Krys Toff: It seems a new religion is emerging, with You as a God. Does it make you feel proud?

Oracle: Proud? They are wrong I'm a human like most of you. There is no prayer for the promiscuos. The oracle is an instrument of the Stunts God. I only have the power of communicate with them and interpreting their messages.

KT: so, you confirm that you are no God. This may make the "priests" unhappy and very angry about you. Do you fear them?

O: Nobody can touch me in my temple, I'm safely here. The world will fall and the temple will stay until the twilight of the Gods.

KT: Stunts Gods. With a "s". So you can attest that there is more than one Stunts God?

O: Yes there are some Stunts Gods. Nailwood is the God of tracks. Loehrer is the God of the Contests…

KT: Which God has the right to marry Helen Wheels?

O: Good question.

KT: I take that "answer" as a compliment: I found a question the Oracle can't answer.:-)

O: I don't know the answer but I can guess Cherry and Helen did some "visits" to the Valhalla. Even Bernie, maybe there is a Gay Stunts God. I've never went there but I can watch almost everything there.

KT: And what are the Stunts Gods doing NOW?

O: They just live and watch the competitions and the racers. They bring the power to us. For example if you pray to Nailwood he will give you more skill in the race and if you pray to Loehrer he will give you more skill to build a track. And if you make donations too.

KT: Donations? To the Gods or to their Oracle ?

O: It's the same. I work for them.

KT: "it's the same": you tend to admit you are quite like a God yourself too, mmm?

O: no, I told you, I work for them. I'm an instrument of communication. I let opened the doorway between the worlds.

KT: So, that means you are linked to them. How can we know that when you are racing, it's really You racing, and not the Gods racing using your human form to go back to Earth?

O: Always is your racing. But if you pray or make a donation you have a plus.

KT: How much should I donate for a victory in Zak's comp? And how much for a victory in IRC ?

O: what your heart indicates.

KT: Do you take credit cards?

O: I accept RH plus.

KT: But, how can I get a RH Plus card? I'm just a standard RH user...

O: By the way, I have a bank account in Tokelau, Oceanía. There is sand, 1 palm, 1 bank.

KT: gasp That's the real proof you are human and no God: you want to leave with all the money of donations on your small paradisiac island! Thanks for this interview, but don't expect donations from me. ;)

O: Hey I have 6 kids to feed! Come back...

At this moment, I remind a Suicidal Tendencies song called “Send me your money”: “I want you to make it hurt when you dig into your pocket, ‘cuz it makes me feel so good to watch my profits rocket!”.

The myth is destroyed.

Submitted by Krys TOFF on 2003-12-12.